Most ill people need to be dependent for a time. As they recover, they gain confidence and self-esteem, and reliance on the helper disappears. The odd time that this is not the case, it is up to the helper to encourage independence by gradually withdrawing attention unless really positive moves are made by the user.

Caution for Helpers

No matter how sincere you are in your efforts to help, there will always be someone who will direct their anger at you. Try not to be hurt by this, however unjustified you feel it to be. You may be serving a useful purpose. The person may feel it safer to express anger outside the family circle. It will be upsetting, particularly if you are not feeling completely recovered yourself. Get used to it—it will happen again.

It is good to have positive talk times, when all talk of withdrawal symptoms is banned, or to have social outings away from where the group usually meets. Marvellous things happen when people get together to work towards being well. It is touching to see how much strangers can care about each other if they are given the opportunity. If someone weeps, don’t be in a hurry to make tea—that may only be to save your own embarrassment. A box of tissues in one hand and the other on the shoulder of the distressed person usually means more.

Even if you do get a bit discouraged at times, the work in groups is very rewarding. It is exciting to see people looking healthier as they cut down their drugs, and to see confidence and animation return.

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